Emotional Sale

What am I to do with all these emotions? I wish there was a garage sale, a car boot where you could go and sell your feelings. £1.99 for a handful of frustration. £2 for a glimpse of my fragile heart. For £5 I’ll let you cradle it in your palms. But baby hold it gently. If you can hurt it this bad without seeing it, I’m afraid in your hands I’d be crushed. Crushed under the weight of your grief. Your regret. Your own self-hatred, low self-esteem, doubt, worry. Crushed under all the brokenness of you. And there I’ll lay. Dust at your feet. And you’ll tread on me, like you crunch the leaves of autumn. Walking off at your quick pace. Where are you always running to anyway. Why are you in such a rush to get anywhere but here?

A Fundamental Flaw

Dear A day in the life of a teen,

Thank you for being there for me over the years. When I first started this blog I didn’t think I’d still be here six years later. But here I am. And that’s the problem.

By definition this blog was to be about my adventures as a teen. Now I am two days off being Twenty-one. I think we can all agree, Twenty-one-teen is not a thing. So now what do I do? Leave you in the past? Start a new chapter on this blog? Start a new blog?

If there’s any of you left after my two year hiatus, please tell me what you guys would like?

I have a second blog I could re-design, so I’m leaning towards that currently. But we will see.

Smile…It wont hurt you. 🙂

Picking Back Up The Proverbial Pen.

Would I rather be crying right now? YES.

Have I done that too much lately? Also YES.

Hello old friend, how’s life treating you?

Damn has a lot of stuff happened since we last spoke. My life is pretty much a shook up snow globe where not only is it snowing, but the snow is actually fire and the picturesque scene is just me, covered in sewage rocking in a ball on the floor.

I kid, its not THAT bad. I don’t think.

Excuse me if I’m a little rusty on these keys. I haven’t written anything in…since…okay its been a while. It feels good to be doing this though. Explanations are kind of tricky so I guess I’ll explain like I’m ripping off a plaster.

  1. I got depressed.
  2. I dropped out of uni.
  3. I have no idea what I’m doing. At all.
  4. I’ve got this!

Okay so I didn’t catch it or anything. What I should really say is I confronted my depression and got help. But the second two stand true. I dropped out of uni to work full time. Yes, it’s really as horrific as it sounds. The job was in the industry that I’d dreamt of being in since a child so I would have been stupid to pass it up. But working full time, away from home was too much. And so now!

I am officially back at university! Studying Creative Writing and Journalism. (The same thing I was studying before I dropped out. Thank you for letting me come back people, you rock!)

Hopefully I’ll get back to updating you guys, until next time,

Smile…It wont hurt you! 🙂


**I started writing this post back in May…but it’s finally finished now!”

4 Steps to Happiness: The Princess Formula

Like most girls my age, I was raised on an entertainment diet of Disney. For years I’d watch and learn the tried, tested and trusted formula for happiness. Allow me to enlighten you. Introducing The Princess Formula.

(Sh*t life + Prince) – evil enemy = Happily Ever After.

(At least that’s what Disney teaches us)

Step 1: Life will be sh*tty.

This one’s a given. Cinders didn’t get her prince on Amazon, no. She stuck it out, carried on with her awful life and cleaned until everything was as stunning as her future glass slippers. Snow White’s step mother wished her dead. Sleeping Beauty was cursed. Etc. Short story- Somebody hates you.

Step 2: Just when you thought life couldn’t get any worse, you catch a break.

After all of that waiting on everyone else, Finally it’s your chance to have happiness. You’ll have the greatest night of your life and think that it couldn’t possibly get better than this. (Spoiler-It can’t.)

Step 3: Lol, no.

You get b*tch slapped across the face so hard you probably have concussion. Reality has caught up with you and it’s back to sweeping up for your ugly sisters. The natural order has returned and life is sh*t again.

**This is where Disney adds it’s magic. You see in real life, that’s it. A little happiness and then a lifetime of sh*t.**

Step 4: Rescue Arrives.

He comes riding up on a white horse, promises to love you forever and you ride away into the sunset to live happily ever after. Congratulations. *Sarcastic clapping*

Life could never be that simple. Call me cynical if you like but I’ve lost faith that a guy will ever rescue me. Maybe I’m doomed to be miserable for the rest of my life or maybe, just maybe, one day i’ll save up enough to buy my own white horse and ride off into my own happily ever after. In fact, make it a unicorn.

I think I prefer that ending anyway.

Smile…It wont hurt you 🙂

Logan Reveiw

Logan 1

If you enjoy dull, tiresome love-stories then I am sorry but this is not the film
for you. If, however, you’re an individual who is looking for a two and a half hour, adren
aline induced action movie, that still manages to pack in the same amount of emotion, then stop what you’re doing, grab your coat and head to the cinema to see ‘Logan’.

20th Century Fox are back at it again with their tenth instalment in the beloved ‘X-Men’ series. ‘Logan’ is said to be the third and final chapter in the ‘Wolverine’ saga and boy does it leave us wanting more.

A Brief Synopsis

Our journey begins by throwing us directly into the centre of the action as we re-join our ‘hero’ and title character Logan, being harassed by average thugs. Good ol’ Wolvie handles the situation in his usual anger-fuelled massacre style, leaving the audience pumped and prepared for a movie that follows suit with much the same pace.

The Good and The Bad

Now, I’ll say it right off the bat, full disclosure, I liked this film. I am a fan of the franchise and have been waiting eagerly since the first trailer was revealed in October last year.

However, the theatrical release trailer, for all intents and purposes may as well have been a short mini-film. After seeing the whole movie, I can confidently say it does not leave much to the imagination. They put all of the juicy, action sequences into that two-minute clip and I was disappointed when scenes that I thought (from the trailer) would be pivotal moments, were nothing more than fillers between the action.

Now action is one of the things this movie does very well; unsurprisingly considering its genre. The director (James Mangold) has managed to strike a satisfying balance between gritty-sometimes hard to watch scenes and heartfelt interactions between the characters. Jackman and Stewart’s characters have a beautiful yet reluctant (On Hugh’s side) relationship that is indescribably rewarding to witness. The dynamic of two, well past their prime, heroes struggling through everyday life is both touching and one of the most tragic things I’ve seen this year. This film really poses the question, what happens to superheroes when they get too old to save anyone? – even themselves.

So, what’s the plot?

The movie takes place in this universe’s year 2029, with Logan and Caliban hiding out on the border of Mexico with a senile, Professor Xavier.  For those who are not familiar with the Mutants, each character has his/her own individual ‘Gifts’. Wolverine, has blades grafted to his skeleton, that can emerge from between his knuckles. Caliban, an albino, has a gift for tracking and detecting other mutants. Professor X, once a brilliant mind and headmaster of his own school for mutant children, being a telepath; has the ability to read and manipulate people’s minds. The sub-plot of the film is that Xavier has developed Alzheimer’s disease and is struggling with spontaneous seizures. This is extremely hazardous for not only those around him but for the entire world. His gift is the most powerful and during these episodes they result in the paralysis of those around him.

The main story begins with the introduction of Laura. Actress Dafne Keen, gives an outstanding performance. Her lack of dialogue (Due to the language barrier) only adds to her portrayal of her character, rather than limiting it. Through the comedic timing of her actions and fLogan 2acial expressions, she really makes you feel for her and by the end of the film you’re rooting for her survival.  In a time where new mutants are rare, Laura is a shock to our protagonist. It is Logan’s task to deliver her to the safety of ‘Eden’, a sanctuary for all mutants alike.

What Geniuses Created This?

The script was a collaborative effort between James Mangold, Scott Frank and Michael Green. The three writers have created and executed characters that although at first seem dislikeable, over time your heart softens as you develop a deeper understanding and connection with these people. Whether you’re a die-hard fan, or have only recently discovered the story, pivotal moments have the ability to leave your chest aching and your eyes damp.

A Warning for The Kids

The age rating for this film is appropriately 15. “Strong bloody violence, strong language” is more than correct with Jackman swearing in what seems to be every other line. This film is definitely not suitable for anyone under 15, If I wasn’t such a fan of gore, I, at 19 years of age, would be disturbed. Viewer discretion is highly advised. But, if you’re not easily offended by swearing and you’re not scarred by Tarantino-esque, levels of fake blood then you’re safe to watch this film.

Should I see this film?

Considering all of this, I still feel like this film is missing something as yet unidentified. Maybe it was the ending that left us wanting more, or possibly the omission of an after credits scene that cemented the finality of Wolverines story. Whatever it may be, I’ll leave you to decide for yourself.

If you still can’t decide you can watch the trailer here:

A Reflection

Here I sit, nestled into a comfy arm chair-esk contraption, (Love seat I believe they’re called) laptop balanced on an unreliable metal tray table, various junk food piled at the side of me and a full bladder that I’m desperately trying to ignore.

As always with my writing on this blog, motivation comes when I have other priories I’m choosing to ignore. Currently that priority is a critical essay of a radio play I co-wrote and produced for my course. The due date is in a week, so I’ve plenty of time to write 1,500 words…right?

So here I am. The same place I’ve been for nearly six months now. University. That “Giant” leap I was terrified to take has actually turned out to be the best decision I’ve ever made. Now that I’m nearing the end of my first year (Boy has that gone fast!!) I feel it’s time to share with you my experience.

This year (That has not been an actual year) has been full of so many new experiences. I moved into a flat full of perfect strangers, of which are now three of my closest friends. I’ve met people who inspire me daily. Studying in London means that not only do I meet people from across this country but from all over the world. Italy, Norway, Portugal are but a few.

I’ve made friends, memories and mistakes but I wouldn’t change a thing. I am not the girl I used to be. Every day is moulding me into the future I want to become. Every person I meet teaches me things about myself and the world.

It’s been a steep learning curve moving out. Becoming self sufficient. Managing a budget. Laundry, cooking, organising myself. All of which I took for granted when it was my mum doing it all, but I’m so lucky to be living this life. I love my life. I love the city. I love caring for myself and standing up on my own two feet knowing that every day I get up and go about my life, I’m in control, I’m doing it by myself. All with a strong network of family and friends backing me yes, but its me.

Smile…It wont hurt you. 🙂


After the Credits

I returned to the place we shared our first date.

After all this time, it is not you that I hate.

I strolled along that picturesque bridge

And stared into the distance to the ridge.


I returned to the place you stole a kiss.

I’ll admit that is something I dearly miss.

I’d say it was the wind that brought tears to my eyes

But to you, my dear I could tell no lies.


I returned to this place to find my closure

The memories fill me, alas I’m no closer.

I know that it’s over, I need to move on.

My heart longs to hold you but you are long gone.

A “Critical” Analysis

I have happened across what I can only describe as a “critical” analysis of my ‘trade mark’ quote-

Smile…It wont hurt you

I say “critical” but really I’m quite fond of it. The comment reads as follows:

Smile, cry, scowl, it does not matter. Feel what you must feel in the darkest of nights and the brightest of days because darkness helps us appreciate the light.


I would give comprehensive credit to the author of the comment but I’m unsure whether he would like that. This blog has always been anonymous and I would like it to remain that way.  If he reads this, He’ll know his own words. Thank you.

They mean a lot to me, not only for their origins but for their meanings too. I have no arguments against them and I believe rather than opposing my quote, they give it new depth. The comment highlights the importants of not repressing any emotion you may have. No matter the intensity, you should embrace any and all feelings you may have at all times. Never be afraid to feel. Emotions are one of the fundamental characteristics of being human. If you squash and ignore them, you are only ignoring your humanity. For a person that for a long time has tried to do the above, I know I will definitely be taking the advice on board. I plead you all (If you don’t already) do the same. For the sake of health and happiness.

But remember to still,

Smile…It wont hurt you 🙂


New Year, New…No

“New year, New me” Scream the masses, as I cringe internally. The dawn of a new year is indeed a great time to re-think and re-evaluate both yourself and your life. (Regardless of the plain and simple fact that you can set new targets whatever time of year it may be) But with a fresh canvas spread before our eyes, who can blame us for using it as an excuse to change those little habits that we all wish we could finally kick.

It would seem that 2017 shall be the year that I re-introduce my monthly resolution scheme that I first did in…Here? (2013)

That was four years ago. Oh geez…well haven’t we have come full circle.

I will post my first resolution post shortly, in the meantime, Happy New Year and

Smile…It wont hurt you 🙂