Why?

His face donned with a pitiful expression, the man sighs.
“I’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do.”
Another sigh, a shake of his head and he’s sending her out of the door.
“we’ll see you in six months!”

No longer can she hold it in. The silent tears roll down her puffy cheeks, hot and heavy against her pale skin. Her mouth opens but the words cannot be formed for her mouth is much too dry.

In her head so many new questions swirl around like a puff of smoke. “why will no one help me?” “why does nobody understand?

At home the girl stands before the mirror. Make-up, her attempt to make herself feel better, is now running down her face and has pooled at the neck of her shirt. Without the highlights of foundation and blusher her face is hollow. Collar bones stick out from her neck, square bony shoulders, ribs that you can count. One, two three… Hip bones protruding from her shorts, thin bony legs, the muscles have lone been gone, broken down in a last attempt to keep her body running.

The voice. It’s here again. Of course it is. It never leaves just like an unwanted visiter.
“Fat. Look at that! Fat. Fat. Fat.”
The girl swallows.
“No!” she says out loud. “No I am not!”
Shaking now, every inch of her quivers.

The voice, it’s presence is fading, she can feel it. Then before she can exhale,
“No one will ever love you when you look like that.” The venom in it’s words still sting for a moment and then…

Silence.

Sweet, blissful silence. Until tomorrow. Then it begins all over again.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s