A “Critical” Analysis

I have happened across what I can only describe as a “critical” analysis of my ‘trade mark’ quote-

Smile…It wont hurt you

I say “critical” but really I’m quite fond of it. The comment reads as follows:

Smile, cry, scowl, it does not matter. Feel what you must feel in the darkest of nights and the brightest of days because darkness helps us appreciate the light.

-Buttercup.

I would give comprehensive credit to the author of the comment but I’m unsure whether he would like that. This blog has always been anonymous and I would like it to remain that way.  If he reads this, He’ll know his own words. Thank you.

They mean a lot to me, not only for their origins but for their meanings too. I have no arguments against them and I believe rather than opposing my quote, they give it new depth. The comment highlights the importants of not repressing any emotion you may have. No matter the intensity, you should embrace any and all feelings you may have at all times. Never be afraid to feel. Emotions are one of the fundamental characteristics of being human. If you squash and ignore them, you are only ignoring your humanity. For a person that for a long time has tried to do the above, I know I will definitely be taking the advice on board. I plead you all (If you don’t already) do the same. For the sake of health and happiness.

But remember to still,

Smile…It wont hurt you 🙂

 

My Future.

My future is uncertain.

Which is a funny thing to type as it seems obvious. Of course everyone’s futures are uncertain…aren’t they?

Well I used to believe that my life was leading me down a very specific path with an idea of exactly where i’d be in three years time. Now…I’m not so sure. Let me explain.

Thursday 18th august-Results day.

The day I had been alternately hoping for and dreading through this entire summer since my exams ended. The day that I would find out my fate. (Sounds dramatic I know, but it’s true.)

Way back in October last year I had applied for university to study either veterinary medicine or nursing. My application for medicine was declined by two unis. One university declined me for nursing too. I was beginning to lose hope when I was offered an interview to study Veterinary nursing. I went, it went great and finally I had my first and only offer. It was a conditional offer where by I had to complete two weeks work experience and gain A-Levels with a B in biology and two C’s.

Now when the day came I was apprehensive at best. Nerves and anxiety filled me. Waiting for my friend to pick me up so that we could collect out results together, I made a terrible decision. I checked UCAS for my fate. I hadn’t gotten in to my course. Which means that I hadn’t gotten the grades. A million things rushed through my head. I was gutted. Ashamed. Scared.Worried. And more but you get the point. I cried. A lot that day. I collected my results and it turns out that I got a B in English and a C in biology. Unfortunately I failed to get a grade in chemistry and got a U. So that explained the lack of uni place.

After many, many tears I eventually found a course that I wanted to study.

So I am now writing this to tell you come September I will not only be moving out and going to university but I will be studying Creative writing and Journalism at my original uni.

Now I began this post by stating that my future is uncertain. Which is certainly true. I always imagined my future doing a career based around animals. But now I truly believe everything happens for a reason and this is what was meant to be.

I am equal parts excited and terrified but it shall be an awfully big adventure. What should be, shall be.

Smile…It wont hurt you 🙂

 

Click.Breathe.write.

The pressure was building. She felt it in her very core. It was as if she was shedding her skin in reverse with her innards pulsing outwards. It was inevitable. She would soon explode.
Shit”
Her head snapped round, searching for the exit.
“No, not here!” She thought anxiously.
Sophia was in the middle of ‘The Diamond’ the local shopping mall. Men, women, children all going about their daily lives ignorant to the fact that if she didn’t get out of there, their mediocre lives would be finished. Knowing time was running out, Sophia began running straight ahead. Eyes scanning ferociously from side to side, desperate to get out of there. The people she passed gave her sceptical looks. In the way that people stare without starring. Out of the corner of their eyes. From behind menus, sunglasses and over the top of heads.
This was typical human behaviour. Disrespect disguised with politeness.

The race made the Omni outraged, but Sophia found them to be family. She finally felt she belonged. How on globe would she explain it to Gabe? He could never understand their complex ways. How a person could feel so many emotions simultaneously. How someone could feel so deeply.

The worst thing about being an Omni bomb?
The unexpected explosion.

And explode she did.
         They all died. The humans at least.

Omni-1 : Humans-Obliteration.

Click.Breath.Write.

Hey…so I have absolutely no idea what this will be I just wanted to write.

Ehh, okay so these things called ‘A-levels’ do a strange things to you. (Specifically me in this example) Everything I loved, Writing, reading, I lost interest in.

I lost the will to read. Reading! My one main love and passion. I didn’t want to do it. I couldn’t bring myself to pick up a book, it seemed like too much effort. Like too much of my time would be wasted.

Writing. Why? What is there to write, what is the point?

Crazy right? The amount of pressure students are under is ridiculous. Work, work work and guess what, more work. Personal statements, uni applications, work experience, keeping up with A2 work. There is no end. Now I am so thankful for the Christmas break I’m on right now. But it isn’t a break…not really because there’s revision for mocks when I get back, presents to buy and wrap, keeping up social relations, family relationships and relaxation to fit in.

Good news, no matter how sad this post sounds, I found the will to read and I’ve remembered just how amazing it is. And writing right now, the words flowing from my brain, its like therapy for the soul. I think I’ve found my will to write again. 🙂

Smile…It wont hurt you! 🙂