A “Critical” Analysis

I have happened across what I can only describe as a “critical” analysis of my ‘trade mark’ quote-

Smile…It wont hurt you

I say “critical” but really I’m quite fond of it. The comment reads as follows:

Smile, cry, scowl, it does not matter. Feel what you must feel in the darkest of nights and the brightest of days because darkness helps us appreciate the light.

-Buttercup.

I would give comprehensive credit to the author of the comment but I’m unsure whether he would like that. This blog has always been anonymous and I would like it to remain that way.  If he reads this, He’ll know his own words. Thank you.

They mean a lot to me, not only for their origins but for their meanings too. I have no arguments against them and I believe rather than opposing my quote, they give it new depth. The comment highlights the importants of not repressing any emotion you may have. No matter the intensity, you should embrace any and all feelings you may have at all times. Never be afraid to feel. Emotions are one of the fundamental characteristics of being human. If you squash and ignore them, you are only ignoring your humanity. For a person that for a long time has tried to do the above, I know I will definitely be taking the advice on board. I plead you all (If you don’t already) do the same. For the sake of health and happiness.

But remember to still,

Smile…It wont hurt you 🙂

 

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Flawed.

Flawed. Imperfect-not recently been struck to the ground 😉

I am flawed. Heavily so. My imperfections outweigh my quirks in (I assume) many peoples minds. A list of my flaws? I’m glad you asked. Lets go for a top 3. In no particular order.

  1. I am sarcastic. Dreadfully sarcastic to a degree that it comes across passive aggressive. Often people find it hard to know when I’m being sarcastic as I keep the same tone of voice. I have a dry sense of humour that comes out as sarcasm more often or not. Why is this a flaw? People don’t like being confused. And speaking to me can be confusing I guess when you can’t distinguish my intentions.
  2.  I am lazy. Now I’m sure by now you all realise this. How often do I actually put out content on this wonderful little blog? There is a lack of drive or motivation in me. It only visits in short, infrequent bursts which are never enough to get things done. When I have a long list of things to do I will procrastinate and pick something else that wasn’t even on the list to do;thus extending the list. Why is this a flaw? Isn’t it self explanatory? 😉 Laziness is not a trait of a successful woman.
  3. I lack confidence. Now this is one that has popped up recently. I thought that my confidence had improved lately. Not listening to what others said or thought about me was a goal of mine. I thought i’d achieved that but apparently not. Recently while speaking to a guy I was actually becoming interested in, he stated that I needed to be more confident. Apparently “within the first 15 minutes” of speaking to me he knew that I had low self esteem. Now firstly thanks for that! If I’m completely honest here that crushed me. It’s like being under Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak walking around only to find out that everyone can see you…and you forgot to put trousers on. Like ouch dude that hurt. Now context is everything and I don’t just want to be slating somebody on this blog. I’ve been speaking on and off with him for some time now. He makes me laugh…a lot. But he also infuriates me. He’s stubborn and sometimes impossible to talk to. Now he lives an hour away which is bad enough. But after I move on Monday the distance will be even greater. No I have never met this guy in real life (Oh the wonders of the internet) but there’s something about him that gets under my skin. And yes I guess this was the real inspiration for this post. As it is an indirect- direct rant at him.

So now we’re admitting it’s about him. I would just like to take a minute to highlight the freaking awesome things about me that would make anyone, never mind you sir, lucky to have me.

  • I’m hilarious.
  • I can write…pretty gosh dang okay if you ask me.
  • I care deeply. For people, animal and the world in general.
  • I’m stubborn. Which means that I stick to my morals.
  • I’m passionate.
  • I’m quirky/crazy/individual in a way that is purely essence of me.
  • I have the ability to not care what people think. (The only exception for this is when I like someone, so I guess jokes on you. You missed out there)
  • I’m creative.
  • I have a pretty awesome taste in music.
  • Ditto for films.
  • I’m intelligent.
  • I’m as loyal as they come.
  • And heck yeah I’m sensitive when people pick on my faults.
  • I’m Me.

So I’m sorry mysterious Tinder guy. I am completely and utterly faulted, but you aren’t as perfect as you think. I wish you all the best for the future, but I certainly wont be it.

 

Smile, don’t let them get you down, stand tall and remember it wont hurt you! 🙂 x

 

Rain.

I want it to rain.

I want it to pour. For the heavens to open and release a thousand tiny bullets to rain down on me. 

I want thunder. The crash of the gods, screaming at my window.

I want it to cascade down on the rooftops so that the noise fills my head. Smashing down on the concrete with the power of an army. 

I want lightning. The sudden unexpected flash illuminating this dank room. Shining light on my world.

I want the pressure of suspense to suffocate me. Crush me until there is no oxygen left.

I want a storm.

Maybe then I’ll be free.
Smile…it won’t hurt you 🙂

Click.Breathe.write.

The pressure was building. She felt it in her very core. It was as if she was shedding her skin in reverse with her innards pulsing outwards. It was inevitable. She would soon explode.
Shit”
Her head snapped round, searching for the exit.
“No, not here!” She thought anxiously.
Sophia was in the middle of ‘The Diamond’ the local shopping mall. Men, women, children all going about their daily lives ignorant to the fact that if she didn’t get out of there, their mediocre lives would be finished. Knowing time was running out, Sophia began running straight ahead. Eyes scanning ferociously from side to side, desperate to get out of there. The people she passed gave her sceptical looks. In the way that people stare without starring. Out of the corner of their eyes. From behind menus, sunglasses and over the top of heads.
This was typical human behaviour. Disrespect disguised with politeness.

The race made the Omni outraged, but Sophia found them to be family. She finally felt she belonged. How on globe would she explain it to Gabe? He could never understand their complex ways. How a person could feel so many emotions simultaneously. How someone could feel so deeply.

The worst thing about being an Omni bomb?
The unexpected explosion.

And explode she did.
         They all died. The humans at least.

Omni-1 : Humans-Obliteration.

Sonder

Sonder

(n)-The realisation that each random passer-by is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.

It is extreamly difficult in today’s age, when wrapped up in our own lives, to remember that every single person around you has a life much like your own. And similarly completely juxtaposed of your own. We each go through life experiencing struggles and complications. Whose to say that one persons problem is less than the next persons?

Lets think a minute about your life. How many times a day do you worry about your issues? A few? Hundreds? Thousands even, depending on your independent situation. How do your struggles make you feel? Exhausted, stressed, worried, angry, sad, the list is endless.

Now. How would you feel if I told you that everyone around you feels the same. Maybe not the exact emotions at the exact same time. But ones similar. Hey, sure there are equal amounts of people who are happy and content with life. However, allow me to introduce you to the roller-coaster that is life. It has its ups. It has its downs. It makes your heart pound and your stomach want to empty its contents. It is everything that is wonderful and equally what is horrendous. But here we are. Going through day by day on our journey of life.

If we all remember that then maybe we’d be able to shrug off the anger we feel because that woman just stole the last seat on the train. Or be able to forgive the couple in love when our life seems so empty and dismal.

We are but human after all. Faulted yes. But perfectly imperfect.

Smile…it wont hurt you 🙂

 

The rabbit hole

It would seem that I have found the perfect euphemism. the rabbit hole.

All you start off wanting to do is look at the problems and worries you have. Just a peak at the rabbit hole. But the longer you look, the more the darkness looks back at you.

Before you know it you’re falling fast into the rabbit hole. When you finally reach the bottom all around you is darkness. Sure you can see the beautiful blinding light shining at the to of the hole but the darkness overwhelms you and the light is quite frankly ‘out shined’

There’s no escaping the rabbit hole…or so you think.

Believe me when I say I have escaped the rabbit hole many times. The secret is to find your golden ladder. The people that love and care about you, the ones who would do anything just to see you smile. They are your ladder and key to escape. Trust me when I say there is always someone, even if the darkness feels unbeatable, the light will always find a way back.

Smile…it won’t hurt you 🙂