There seems to be a heaviness in my chest that comes to form whenever my mind wonders back to you. Why do we punish ourselves in this way? The past is indeed in the past so why can we never let it rest there? Why must we dredge up the memories from the depths of our minds. Re-run the classic films stored for lonely nights and nostalgic days.
Each scene a dramatic blow to my heart.
Each line a sharp jab to the stomach.
This is no longer an extravagant dance for two. No more toing and froing of moves between us. In the past you would make your move and I would counter it. Now I watch from behind a screen, on the peripheral of your life. No longer am I the centre of your attraction. I wait in the shadows and watch you interact with someone new. I am but a mere memory. The faintest hint of what might have been. An insignificant facet of your life, your past. A notch, not on the belt or bedpost but rather somewhere indescribable. I’d like to think I meant that much. The simple truth of the matter is that I was not that to you. You left a mark on me that I cannot erase; but I to you? Nothing.
The pressure was building. She felt it in her very core. It was as if she was shedding her skin in reverse with her innards pulsing outwards. It was inevitable. She would soon explode.
Her head snapped round, searching for the exit.
“No, not here!” She thought anxiously.
Sophia was in the middle of ‘The Diamond’ the local shopping mall. Men, women, children all going about their daily lives ignorant to the fact that if she didn’t get out of there, their mediocre lives would be finished. Knowing time was running out, Sophia began running straight ahead. Eyes scanning ferociously from side to side, desperate to get out of there. The people she passed gave her sceptical looks. In the way that people stare without starring. Out of the corner of their eyes. From behind menus, sunglasses and over the top of heads.
This was typical human behaviour. Disrespect disguised with politeness.
The race made the Omni outraged, but Sophia found them to be family. She finally felt she belonged. How on globe would she explain it to Gabe? He could never understand their complex ways. How a person could feel so many emotions simultaneously. How someone could feel so deeply.
The worst thing about being an Omni bomb?
The unexpected explosion.
And explode she did.
They all died. The humans at least.
Omni-1 : Humans-Obliteration.
Her eyes drifted absent-mindedly to the window. How free they look, she thought to herself. The local park was filling up and a small group of infants had formed. Gleeful cries filled the muggy air. Arms extended to the clouds. Smile larger than life. Not a shred of doubt, worry, stress. Nothing but pure, 100%, grade A euphoria. Here she was. Stuck inside. No future prospects or money. Uni had robbed her of that. Three years ago Joanna never dreamed that life would be this, well…shit. How she wished that she could be a child again. Back to the times before adulthood stole her freedom, time, looks and energy. Tiredness was all she knew now. It was as if life had physically drained her of her soul. A gaping hole took home in the cavity of her chest. Everything she used to take comfort and hope in now didn’t even come close to relieving the pain. Nothing could. One girl in particular caught her eye. She was different. Not generically different. Just different. She stood in the middle of the grass. Daises, blindingly white, brushed her feet. No. It wasn’t her that was different at all. It was the world around her. The air seemed to flow through her. Light emitted from her very being. As if she was nature personified. Perfection, if there was such a thing, she would be it. The other children carried on playing around her, absent to the fact that something very special was hidden deep inside. Something that would very shortly change the world as humanity knew it.
Updates? well hopefully as you read this my blog should have had a make-over and look a little different (in a good way *fingerscrossed*) I am also typing this from the comfort of my new desk at my new computer 😀 May I just say I think I am in love with my PC, it is brilliant!! 🙂 I have officially finished high school, I got signed off last Thursday so it is finally over, two more years then I can finally begin my life 🙂
So back to the real meaning of this post. As you may have noticed every year I have been writing a list of 100 things I would like to do over the summer. this was an annual activity that me and my old taken best friend used to do together. After things (yes I am being vague, I apologise) happened I no longer feel that I should make a list (mainly I couldn’t be bothered 😉 and forgot to write it) and so I have set myself a summer project.
The project itself is to complete a story. I write random passages fairly frequently and have a few ideas for stories but I have never finished one, but I will! and I thought when best to do this then when I have around 7 weeks of nothing to do. 🙂 I might even post some of it here 🙂 Maybe! if you’re lucky 😛 and if that’s what you guys want 🙂
Smile…it wont hurt you! :))