Thank you for being there for me over the years. When I first started this blog I didn’t think I’d still be here six years later. But here I am. And that’s the problem.
By definition this blog was to be about my adventures as a teen. Now I am two days off being Twenty-one. I think we can all agree, Twenty-one-teen is not a thing. So now what do I do? Leave you in the past? Start a new chapter on this blog? Start a new blog?
If there’s any of you left after my two year hiatus, please tell me what you guys would like?
I have a second blog I could re-design, so I’m leaning towards that currently. But we will see.
Damn has a lot of stuff happened since we last spoke. My life is pretty much a shook up snow globe where not only is it snowing, but the snow is actually fire and the picturesque scene is just me, covered in sewage rocking in a ball on the floor.
I kid, its not THAT bad. I don’t think.
Excuse me if I’m a little rusty on these keys. I haven’t written anything in…since…okay its been a while. It feels good to be doing this though. Explanations are kind of tricky so I guess I’ll explain like I’m ripping off a plaster.
I got depressed.
I dropped out of uni.
I have no idea what I’m doing. At all.
I’ve got this!
Okay so I didn’t catch it or anything. What I should really say is I confronted my depression and got help. But the second two stand true. I dropped out of uni to work full time. Yes, it’s really as horrific as it sounds. The job was in the industry that I’d dreamt of being in since a child so I would have been stupid to pass it up. But working full time, away from home was too much. And so now!
I am officially back at university! Studying Creative Writing and Journalism. (The same thing I was studying before I dropped out. Thank you for letting me come back people, you rock!)
Hopefully I’ll get back to updating you guys, until next time,
Smile…It wont hurt you! đ
**I started writing this post back in May…but it’s finally finished now!”
If you enjoy dull, tiresome love-stories then I am sorry but this is not the film
for you. If, however, youâre an individual who is looking for a two and a half hour, adren
aline induced action movie, that still manages to pack in the same amount of emotion, then stop what youâre doing, grab your coat and head to the cinema to see âLoganâ.
20th Century Fox are back at it again with their tenth instalment in the beloved âX-Menâ series. âLoganâ is said to be the third and final chapter in the âWolverineâ saga and boy does it leave us wanting more.
A Brief Synopsis
Our journey begins by throwing us directly into the centre of the action as we re-join our âheroâ and title character Logan, being harassed by average thugs. Good olâ Wolvie handles the situation in his usual anger-fuelled massacre style, leaving the audience pumped and prepared for a movie that follows suit with much the same pace.
The Good and The Bad
Now, Iâll say it right off the bat, full disclosure, I liked this film. I am a fan of the franchise and have been waiting eagerly since the first trailer was revealed in October last year.
However, the theatrical release trailer, for all intents and purposes may as well have been a short mini-film. After seeing the whole movie, I can confidently say it does not leave much to the imagination. They put all of the juicy, action sequences into that two-minute clip and I was disappointed when scenes that I thought (from the trailer) would be pivotal moments, were nothing more than fillers between the action.
Now action is one of the things this movie does very well; unsurprisingly considering its genre. The director (James Mangold) has managed to strike a satisfying balance between gritty-sometimes hard to watch scenes and heartfelt interactions between the characters. Jackman and Stewartâs characters have a beautiful yet reluctant (On Hughâs side) relationship that is indescribably rewarding to witness. The dynamic of two, well past their prime, heroes struggling through everyday life is both touching and one of the most tragic things Iâve seen this year. This film really poses the question, what happens to superheroes when they get too old to save anyone? – even themselves.
So, whatâs the plot?
The movie takes place in this universeâs year 2029, with Logan and Caliban hiding out on the border of Mexico with a senile, Professor Xavier. For those who are not familiar with the Mutants, each character has his/her own individual âGiftsâ. Wolverine, has blades grafted to his skeleton, that can emerge from between his knuckles. Caliban, an albino, has a gift for tracking and detecting other mutants. Professor X, once a brilliant mind and headmaster of his own school for mutant children, being a telepath; has the ability to read and manipulate peopleâs minds. The sub-plot of the film is that Xavier has developed Alzheimerâs disease and is struggling with spontaneous seizures. This is extremely hazardous for not only those around him but for the entire world. His gift is the most powerful and during these episodes they result in the paralysis of those around him.
The main story begins with the introduction of Laura. Actress Dafne Keen, gives an outstanding performance. Her lack of dialogue (Due to the language barrier) only adds to her portrayal of her character, rather than limiting it. Through the comedic timing of her actions and facial expressions, she really makes you feel for her and by the end of the film youâre rooting for her survival. In a time where new mutants are rare, Laura is a shock to our protagonist. It is Loganâs task to deliver her to the safety of âEdenâ, a sanctuary for all mutants alike.
What Geniuses Created This?
The script was a collaborative effort between James Mangold, Scott Frank and Michael Green. The three writers have created and executed characters that although at first seem dislikeable, over time your heart softens as you develop a deeper understanding and connection with these people. Whether youâre a die-hard fan, or have only recently discovered the story, pivotal moments have the ability to leave your chest aching and your eyes damp.
A Warning for The Kids
The age rating for this film is appropriately 15. âStrong bloody violence, strong languageâ is more than correct with Jackman swearing in what seems to be every other line. This film is definitely not suitable for anyone under 15, If I wasnât such a fan of gore, I, at 19 years of age, would be disturbed. Viewer discretion is highly advised. But, if youâre not easily offended by swearing and youâre not scarred by Tarantino-esque, levels of fake blood then youâre safe to watch this film.
Should I see this film?
Considering all of this, I still feel like this film is missing something as yet unidentified. Maybe it was the ending that left us wanting more, or possibly the omission of an after credits scene that cemented the finality of Wolverines story. Whatever it may be, Iâll leave you to decide for yourself.
If you still canât decide you can watch the trailer here:
Here I sit, nestled into a comfy arm chair-esk contraption, (Love seat I believe they’re called) laptop balanced on an unreliable metal tray table, various junk food piled at the side of me and a full bladder that I’m desperately trying to ignore.
As always with my writing on this blog, motivation comes when I have other priories I’m choosing to ignore. Currently that priority is a critical essay of a radio play I co-wrote and produced for my course. The due date is in a week, so I’ve plenty of time to write 1,500 words…right?
So here I am. The same place I’ve been for nearly six months now. University. That “Giant” leap I was terrified to take has actually turned out to be the best decision I’ve ever made. Now that I’m nearing the end of my first year (Boy has that gone fast!!) I feel it’s time to share with you my experience.
This year (That has not been an actual year) has been full of so many new experiences. I moved into a flat full of perfect strangers, of which are now three of my closest friends. I’ve met people who inspire me daily. Studying in London means that not only do I meet people from across this country but from all over the world. Italy, Norway, Portugal are but a few.
I’ve made friends, memories and mistakes but I wouldn’t change a thing. I am not the girl I used to be. Every day is moulding me into the future I want to become. Every person I meet teaches me things about myself and the world.
It’s been a steep learning curve moving out. Becoming self sufficient. Managing a budget. Laundry, cooking, organising myself. All of which I took for granted when it was my mum doing it all, but I’m so lucky to be living this life. I love my life. I love the city. I love caring for myself and standing up on my own two feet knowing that every day I get up and go about my life, I’m in control, I’m doing it by myself. All with a strong network of family and friends backing me yes, but its me.
I have happened across what I can only describe as a “critical” analysis of my ‘trade mark’ quote-
Smile…It wont hurt you
I say “critical” but really I’m quite fond of it. The comment reads as follows:
Smile, cry, scowl, it does not matter. Feel what you must feel in the darkest of nights and the brightest of days because darkness helps us appreciate the light.
-Buttercup.
I would give comprehensive credit to the author of the comment but I’m unsure whether he would like that. This blog has always been anonymous and I would like it to remain that way. Â If he reads this, He’ll know his own words. Thank you.
They mean a lot to me, not only for their origins but for their meanings too. I have no arguments against them and I believe rather than opposing my quote, they give it new depth. The comment highlights the importants of not repressing any emotion you may have. No matter the intensity, you should embrace any and all feelings you may have at all times. Never be afraid to feel. Emotions are one of the fundamental characteristics of being human. If you squash and ignore them, you are only ignoring your humanity. For a person that for a long time has tried to do the above, I know I will definitely be taking the advice on board. I plead you all (If you don’t already) do the same. For the sake of health and happiness.
There seems to be a heaviness in my chest that comes to form whenever my mind wonders back to you. Why do we punish ourselves in this way? The past is indeed in the past so why can we never let it rest there? Why must we dredge up the memories from the depths of our minds. Re-run the classic films stored for lonely nights and nostalgic days.
Each scene a dramatic blow to my heart.
Each line a sharp jab to the stomach.
This is no longer an extravagant dance for two. No more toing and froing of moves between us. In the past you would make your move and I would counter it. Now I watch from behind a screen, on the peripheral of your life. No longer am I the centre of your attraction. I wait in the shadows and watch you interact with someone new. I am but a mere memory. The faintest hint of what might have been. An insignificant facet of your life, your past. A notch, not on the belt or bedpost but rather somewhere indescribable. Iâd like to think I meant that much. The simple truth of the matter is that I was not that to you. You left a mark on me that I cannot erase; but I to you? Nothing.
Happy Birthday to all of us! Today (As I have just been notified) marks four whole years from the birth of this blog. That awful, cringy first post. We sure have come a long way. (Heck of a long way) So much as changed in four years. My writing has improved crazy amounts. My life is hurtling in an entirely different direction. I have new friends. I live in a different city. But here we are. Still here, alive and kicking so they say đ
Still smiling…it wont hurt us đ
P.S Here’s free cake to commemorate the moment đ
18 years of junk-or as much as would fit into limited boxes-has been piled into the family car. I finally finished packing as the car was being loaded.
Tonight is my final night in my family home. As I type this my NSBFBF, or as I see her now, my sister is in the shower and I’m sprawled on what has became her bed. It’s funny how life changes. How relationships change. How people change.
In so many ways I think I’m nothing like the little girl I used to be. I’d like to think I’ve matured and grown into a better version of myself. In reality I’m still that scared little girl, afraid of the next chapter of her life.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m thoroughly excited to begin the next chapter in this story called ‘My Life’ . Truly I am. But when I step out of this house tomorrow, everything changes. I can’t even play the part of child or girl again. As much as my numerical age depicts that I am a woman, I don’t think I’ll actually feel it until I leave.
Woman…Adult. Such frightening nouns. How an it be that a simple string of letters makes me feel afraid? I do not wish to grow up. As much as I crave freedom and independence, surely life is so much simpler in the comfort of our own home?
I hope I like my new home. I hope I get along with my new neighbours. I hope I don’t lose this incredible friendship I have built with my best friend. I can’t bare to leave her, yet I must. How the heck am I going to survive without her? She is my rock. She is my own personal jester. No one I have ever met truly understands me like she does. And I don’t think they ever can, could or will.
Flawed. Imperfect-not recently been struck to the ground đ
I am flawed. Heavily so. My imperfections outweigh my quirks in (I assume) many peoples minds. A list of my flaws? I’m glad you asked. Lets go for a top 3. In no particular order.
I am sarcastic. Dreadfully sarcastic to a degree that it comes across passive aggressive. Often people find it hard to know when I’m being sarcastic as I keep the same tone of voice. I have a dry sense of humour that comes out as sarcasm more often or not. Why is this a flaw? People don’t like being confused. And speaking to me can be confusing I guess when you can’t distinguish my intentions.
 I am lazy. Now I’m sure by now you all realise this. How often do I actually put out content on this wonderful little blog? There is a lack of drive or motivation in me. It only visits in short, infrequent bursts which are never enough to get things done. When I have a long list of things to do I will procrastinate and pick something else that wasn’t even on the list to do;thus extending the list. Why is this a flaw? Isn’t it self explanatory? đ Laziness is not a trait of a successful woman.
I lack confidence. Now this is one that has popped up recently. I thought that my confidence had improved lately. Not listening to what others said or thought about me was a goal of mine. I thought i’d achieved that but apparently not. Recently while speaking to a guy I was actually becoming interested in, he stated that I needed to be more confident. Apparently “within the first 15 minutes” of speaking to me he knew that I had low self esteem. Now firstly thanks for that! If I’m completely honest here that crushed me. It’s like being under Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak walking around only to find out that everyone can see you…and you forgot to put trousers on. Like ouch dude that hurt. Now context is everything and I don’t just want to be slating somebody on this blog. I’ve been speaking on and off with him for some time now. He makes me laugh…a lot. But he also infuriates me. He’s stubborn and sometimes impossible to talk to. Now he lives an hour away which is bad enough. But after I move on Monday the distance will be even greater. No I have never met this guy in real life (Oh the wonders of the internet) but there’s something about him that gets under my skin. And yes I guess this was the real inspiration for this post. As it is an indirect- direct rant at him.
So now we’re admitting it’s about him. I would just like to take a minute to highlight the freaking awesome things about me that would make anyone, never mind you sir, lucky to have me.
I’m hilarious.
I can write…pretty gosh dang okay if you ask me.
I care deeply. For people, animal and the world in general.
I’m stubborn. Which means that I stick to my morals.
I’m passionate.
I’m quirky/crazy/individual in a way that is purely essence of me.
I have the ability to not care what people think. (The only exception for this is when I like someone, so I guess jokes on you. You missed out there)
I’m creative.
I have a pretty awesome taste in music.
Ditto for films.
I’m intelligent.
I’m as loyal as they come.
And heck yeah I’m sensitive when people pick on my faults.
I’m Me.
So I’m sorry mysterious Tinder guy. I am completely and utterly faulted, but you aren’t as perfect as you think. I wish you all the best for the future, but I certainly wont be it.
Smile, don’t let them get you down, stand tall and remember it wont hurt you! đ x
acial expressions, she really makes you feel for her and by the end of the film youâre rooting for her survival. In a time where new mutants are rare, Laura is a shock to our protagonist. It is Loganâs task to deliver her to the safety of âEdenâ, a sanctuary for all mutants alike.
A day in the life of a teen 